My heart is racing. Oh my god I'm going to pass out. Why are my palms so sweaty? I feel like I'm in an Eminem song. Ok...This isn’t going to kill me. I’m going to be ok. I'm going to be OK.
  
   "Babe, you ready?"
  
   "Uh...I think so."
  
   "Ok. Let's go."

Roller coasters.

They've always been a fear of mine. While my friends spent their summers at top speed, flipping upside down, twisting around, and having the time of their lives, I stood with my feet firmly planted on the ground, clutching their purses and the lie that I was having as good a time as they were. I was scared. And I let fear control me.
And there I was, almost 30 years old, faced with the decision to conquer my fear or wimp out and walk away from another opportunity.
    
    This is not a rational fear. Hundreds of thousands of people ride roller coasters every day. I'm going to be ok.
   
    "Babe, you ok?"
   
    "I'm scared."
    
    "You're going to be ok."

For years, I avoided all the things I was even slightly afraid of. Roller coasters. The high dive. Difficult conversations. The doctor. All good (but not easy) things.

Let me make something very clear: There was nothing standing in my way except for me. No force of nature, no person, no law. Just me.
 
    "You ready?
  
    "Yes."
  
    "Good! Cause this ride is nuts."

A wise, bearded man (yes, it was my husband) once said that "The thing you need to learn is on the backside of what you’re scared to do." It hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe my fear was just an emotion and, like all emotions, deserved to be analyzed and processed. Fear is not always a bad thing! It's what keeps us from petting wild animals and trying to fly! But unhealthy fear will keep you from things; joy, opportunity, life.

So ask for help. Confront injustice. Apologize to your friend. Take a trip. Go to the doctor. Stand up for yourself. Whatever your unhealthy fear is keeping you from, run at it full force.

Maybe you'll learn that the thing you're scared of isn't all that scary.

And might actually be super fun.

In the spirit of hearing from different voices in our church family, this week's post is written by staff member, Stacy Henderlong.

Hey there SPV family!

We all come from varying backgrounds and spiritual/religious experiences. I grew up in a tradition based on fear of the end of life (hell). My church experience as a kid was quite boring and not very "spirit-filled" and led me to seek out the opposite when I left home for college. I ended up in some very charismatic churches for quite some time, and I became comfortable, always expecting a wild ride with Holy Spirit.  Then I entered into a season of working for a more traditional and liturgical church, that seemed a bit lifeless at the time. Then I came to SPV just 5.5 years ago. At first I was craving more of the charismatic and pentecostal feel and felt slightly disappointed that it wasn't a bit more exuberant in worship and prayer.

Now that I've been here a little while, I'm been stretched in my thinking, in my faith, and feel like I'm getting to a good place of balance. I'm now craving times of silence, solitude, and reflection and actually miss those times of liturgy - seeking it out online. I still enjoy it when the band gets rockin' during worship, but I'm also love those times when we can just sit or stand in God's presence and not a sound is made - and we just are.

My prayer life has also gone through this change - from crying out & begging God for things for myself and others - into more of a contemplative, peaceful time. I no longer feel like I have to pray for a certain amount of time or come with a list of requests, but just to sit and meditate. To be still. To listen. And to not be afraid of the quiet.

May we each find those times of solitude. May we seek them out, to just sit and listen.

Peace to you,
Stacy

Hello SPV Family,

So I sat down today to type up the weekly email & came across the following post from my (virtual) friend Rob Grayson from the U.K. & was really blessed by it & thought maybe you guys might be as well. I also feel like this captures the heart of our theology at the SPV so take a few minutes to read it over & even meditate on it: 

"God is like Jesus. If you want to know what God is like, look at Jesus.  Let's see how many ways we can say it:
- Jesus is what God has to say.
- Jesus is the Word of God.
- Jesus is the Logos of God.
- Jesus is the one who, if you've seen him, you've seen the Father.
- Jesus is God fully revealed, for all to see.
- Jesus is God's self-expression.
- Jesus is the one in whom all the fullness of the Godhead dwells.
- Jesus is the express image of the Father's person.
- Jesus corrects our misunderstandings about God.
- Jesus is God enfleshed.
- Jesus is the full revelation of the Father's heart.
- Jesus on the cross is the glory and the love of God.
Shout it from the rooftops: Jesus is perfect theology!"   (Rob Grayson)

Much love to you all,
Chris

I hope you are all doing amazingly well! Our theme the last several weeks regarding the Jesus Revolution and then followed up by the Easter Revolution is the incredible change Jesus has brought to the world through his teaching, death, resurrection, & the commissioning his church/kingdom people to continue on and advance this New Creation that He has initiated. We often think of a "revolution" as some huge event but one of the beautiful things about the kingdom and what Jesus is actually calling us to, is to engage the smallest of situations, opportunities, and circumstances in revolutionary ways. The world's trajectory is always towards fear, division, self interest, accusation, etc., but as we follow Jesus may we be revolutionaries who choose love, inclusion, hospitality, grace, hope, generosity, peace, etc. at every turn! 

I pray that we, the faith community of the St. Pete Vineyard would be found faithful to this Revolution of love even in the smallest and seemingly most insignificant of ways.

Much love to all of you revolutionaries and dreamers out there!
Chris

Hello beautiful Saints!

Despite the constant reminders of the brokenness of this world (earthquakes, riots, loss of loved ones, people breaking into our building & stealing things...) I hope you all have your eyes fixed firmly on Jesus who is the author & finisher of our faith. I've become increasingly aware & convinced that radical love is the greatest way to grasp our identity, our greatest source of motivation, our greatest strategy to reach people & change lives as well as our greatest form of spiritual warfare. If I start to sound like a broken record with this message please let me know. I'm not promising I will do anything about it but feel free to let me know anyway. God is love & IN HIM there is no darkness at all & Jesus is the fullest most crystal clear image & understanding of the radical love we have or ever will have. So why would we fix our eyes on anything or anyone else?

Much love to all, Chris

Last week someone asked me why I believed in & followed Jesus & I want to use this email to share with you the "readers digest version" of my answer. 1) In John 6.68 Jesus starts to get a little too radical & people begin leaving so He turns & asks Simon Peter if he would like to leave also & his response is: "Lord, where else should we go? You alone have the words of eternal life. We have believed & have come to know that you are the Christ, the son of the living God." I believe that life, health, forgiveness & wholeness (in this life & the life to come) is found in Jesus & in Jesus alone. 2) I firmly believe the evidence we have (testimony, history & especially scripture) concerning what he taught & did to be incredibly reliable & 3) I believe following His teaching is the very best way we as humans can live life. Jesus did so many things but one of the main things he did was to show us a new way to live, a way of life rooted in love, mercy, forgiveness, peace, generosity...if only the world (not to mention the church) would listen & follow. 

Chris

Post Written by Emily Muñoz, Outreach Pastor

Something's happening in Williams Park. A shift has occurred. I can't explain it but I can feel it. People are experiencing love. Not just any love. The love of the Father. Not only that, but they're demonstrating love!

Yesterday, I went to the park alone, my car and trunk packed full of lunches for 150. Before I had swung my door completely open, a gentleman was crossing the street to help. As we began pulling boxes from the car, more arrived to help. I was pleasantly surprised when Doc asked to help. Doc is a regular at the park. He's an older man, tall, dark, handsome, clean cut and well-dressed, and...well... (how do I say this?)... he comes across as rather arrogant and maybe stand-offish sometimes when interacting with me. He doesn't often have anything to say to me. For a long time he was downright cold to me. It was months before he would crack a smile. So yesterday I was carrying a light-weight box of PB&Js into the park and as I passed him standing with his bike, he asked if he could carry the box for me, wearing a big grin. I was a little bit shocked. It wasn't heavy, but I wasn't about to miss out on this opportunity so I handed him the box and I walked his bike up into the park. When we got to the bench where we serve food, Doc took charge. He organized the food, appointed servers, and managed the line. He made sure that the line didn't begin until after I had spoken to the crowd and prayed. He ensured that no one took more than one bag. My three gentlemen servers were so gentle and kind to each person they served. It may have been the best behaved crowd we've ever had. And I just stood back and watched. It really blessed my heart! The people receiving food are always so appreciative. While I took the wagon around the wall for the trespassers, my servers remained at the bench until the food was gone, and then neatly packed up the supplies to go back in the car. When it was time to go, another crew, my drunken misfit friends, helped carry the supplies to the car.

As you know, the main reason that we take food to the park is so that we can spend time building relationships with the people there. My friend Cassie calls it dripping, well, drip marketing. Each week we drip the love of God on those who we meet. For some people, a few drips from us is all they need. They've probably had other people dripping on them, too. For others, like Doc, it may take a year or more of consistency and reliability before a trust is formed and he can finally crack a smile. But now the park is so saturated by these drips of love that you're guaranteed to get your feet wet when you walk through! I know how sappy that sounds, but man, if I could count the expressions of love... the belly laughs, the warm hugs, the big smiles, the numerous "we love you's"... So, I want to share just a couple of stories of individuals who made my heart leap with joy yesterday.

One of the most beautiful girls in the park is just a mess. She's in her twenties, a severe alcoholic and I suspect drug addict, she comes from a family of alcoholics, she sells her body, and now she's expecting a baby. She has a reputation in the park for being out-of-her-mind crazy. I see her as being painfully broken. For months now she's either avoided me, mocked me, or rolled her eyes at my attempts to love on her. So a few days ago I was (again) pleasantly surprised when she came up from behind me and said, "Hey! It's you!" and greeted me with a smile as I turned around. I don't know what caused such a sudden change in her opinion of me, but we spent about 30 minutes chatting and laughing. Yesterday when I passed her in the park she was on a mission, but she stopped and gave me a big hug. I looked her in the eye and said, "You are beautiful." She looked at me and replied, "You know, people tell me that all the time, but it's different coming from you." I told her that her Father God thinks she's beautiful, too. Please pray for her and your precious child.

A couple of months ago, Timmy lost his partner of 9 years, his name was Happy. Yesterday Timmy stopped me to show me a tiny picture that someone just gave him, less than 2" square and the only picture that he has of Happy. I just stood there and listened as he talked about how much he misses his friend. About how he wouldn't wish that pain on his worst enemy. About his plans to honor Happy on his upcoming birthday. His heart is still so very tender. Timmy recently told me that he'd like to visit our church one day. Not yet. He's not quite ready, but soon, he says. (I hadn't even invited him but I can't wait for him to come!)

The last person I want to tell you about is a man who I see now and then at the park but haven't gotten to know. He's strikingly handsome and just flamboyant and well-dressed enough to erase any doubt of his dating preferences. He gives off the vibes of someone with a hardened heart, and to be honest with you, while he's never really said anything to me, his presence is very intimidating to me. Yesterday evening I dropped by the park for 5 minutes to drop something off for someone. I quickly walked past him and a few others, and then I heard him call out, "Hey, aren't you the Christian lady that was here earlier today?" With some trepidation, I stopped, turned around, and returned to him, preparing to be chided and mocked. "Yes", I answered. With a stern face, he asked what church I attend. I short-answered him. "Tell me about it.", he said. His voice was hard and slightly demanding. I asked him what he wanted to know, having no idea where he was going with this. If he was wanting to argue theology I was prepared to make a quick exit. "Well, where it is to begin with." That caught me off guard. "You want to know where it is?"
"Yeah." (Looking at me as if I'm a dork.)
He pulled out his planner (from his "European bag") and wrote down the address, asking for specific directions, a phone number, and the service time. Now, so that you understand, this man knows NOTHING about my church. He didn't ask about the denomination or the theology or whether or not we welcome homosexuals...
I told him that I'd love for him to visit and to give me a call if he needed transportation.
"I like what you said earlier when you were talking to the people in line for sandwiches. And I've been watching you. I like the way you treat people. I'd like to visit your church."
Bam!! That certainly wasn't what I had been expecting! Before serving the sandwiches I had asked the crowd how many of them had a fear of God. I then shared Jeremiah 29:11 with them (for the umpteenth time) and reminded them that our Daddy God is not a God of wrath, but a good father who loves and is pursuing a relationship with them. How Christ came to introduce us to the love of his Daddy.
Because we hadn't formerly met, I asked his name and gave him mine.
"Emily?? You're Emily?? Oh, well I've heard all about you from my friend Eric!"

Haha! Eric, the one who used to avoid the "Christian Lady" until he realized I wasn't going away, so then he tried using vulgarity to offend me, thinking he could disgust me or intimidate me into keeping my distance. He couldn't offend me but he disgusted me into truly and deeply disliking him. The one who had a change of heart when the Christian Lady visited him (against my will) in the ICU. The one who looked me in the eyes yesterday after I gave his new girlfriend a pair of gently used socks (more than a year after that hospital visit) and said, "Emily, I don't know why you love us the way you do." It's pretty cool the way that God bring things full circle. I am confident that it won't be long now before Eric surrenders to the extravagant love and grace of his Savior.

This sounds like a lot of talk about me. The thing is that while I only know how to give a good and accurate account of my own testimonies, we have a whole team of people with similar stories of people with different names and faces, stories of people that God has given them to love. And when our team is not in the park, I am confident that the Lord sends others. And in others parts of our city and our country and throughout our world, He has called others to share His love. Just as He's called YOU to extravagant love!

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." - John 13:34