My heart is racing. Oh my god I'm going to pass out. Why are my palms so sweaty? I feel like I'm in an Eminem song. Ok...This isn’t going to kill me. I’m going to be ok. I'm going to be OK.
"Babe, you ready?"
"Uh...I think so."
"Ok. Let's go."
They've always been a fear of mine. While my friends spent their summers at top speed, flipping upside down, twisting around, and having the time of their lives, I stood with my feet firmly planted on the ground, clutching their purses and the lie that I was having as good a time as they were. I was scared. And I let fear control me.
And there I was, almost 30 years old, faced with the decision to conquer my fear or wimp out and walk away from another opportunity.
This is not a rational fear. Hundreds of thousands of people ride roller coasters every day. I'm going to be ok.
"Babe, you ok?"
"You're going to be ok."
For years, I avoided all the things I was even slightly afraid of. Roller coasters. The high dive. Difficult conversations. The doctor. All good (but not easy) things.
Let me make something very clear: There was nothing standing in my way except for me. No force of nature, no person, no law. Just me.
"Good! Cause this ride is nuts."
A wise, bearded man (yes, it was my husband) once said that "The thing you need to learn is on the backside of what you’re scared to do." It hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe my fear was just an emotion and, like all emotions, deserved to be analyzed and processed. Fear is not always a bad thing! It's what keeps us from petting wild animals and trying to fly! But unhealthy fear will keep you from things; joy, opportunity, life.
So ask for help. Confront injustice. Apologize to your friend. Take a trip. Go to the doctor. Stand up for yourself. Whatever your unhealthy fear is keeping you from, run at it full force.
Maybe you'll learn that the thing you're scared of isn't all that scary.
And might actually be super fun.
Peace, love, and full speed ahead!
SPV Kid City Children's Pastor